The One Thing The Monsters At Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights Can’t Do

The looming threat of a haunted house can be daunting for newbies. They’re scary and unknown! For years, I wouldn’t set foot into the queue of our regular vacation spot’s haunted house out of pure fear. In my mind (decades ago), all bets are off when you pass through the attraction gates into Dracula’s castle or Leatherface’s slaughterhouse. People watch horror movies for the thrill of a scare, and in my adolescent assumption, a haunted house was that experience on steroids.

Little did I know that most haunted attractions are safe for patrons to complete without enduring chainsaw wounds, bite marks, or even a scratch from a witch’s fingernail. We were all tiny and gullible once.

(Yes, I said most haunted attractions. We’ll get there.)

Universal Studios theme parks have arguably cornered the market on mainstream Halloween attractions. Its Florida and California locations erect haunted houses for nightly takeover events called Halloween Horror Nights. You’ll typically get four to five sponsored haunted houses themed around the year’s popular horror releases, three to four original haunted houses dreamed up by Universal’s creatives, “Scare Zones” featuring roaming scare actors, and themed merchandise.

So, what can you expect when attending Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Orlando or Universal Studios Hollywood? Let me help ease your minds. No, the Halloween Horror Nights scare actors cannot touch you. That’s the golden rule. That’s the one thing they can’t do.

Halloween Horror Nights aims to deliver all the spine-tingle entertainment of your favorite horror movies in safe, contained environments that might induce fear but are architected for maximum enjoyment. Park management doesn’t want you sprinting off the premises after one house, never to return with your hard-earned cash. Scare actors constitute a significant part of this equation since they’re the people you encounter in each house and Scare Zone. They’re there to make you leap out of your skin and scream bloody murder with glee — from a safe distance.

So, what can they do? Let’s run down the scenarios.

In Scare Zones, you’ll encounter costumed actors in the wild. Universal Studios has these designated sections as you venture from house to house where haunts abound. This year, for example, Universal Hollywood features “Luchadores Monstruosos,” “Skull Lordz,” “Chainsaw Punkz,” and “Murder of Crowz.” As you stroll through these territories, you’re fair game for the actors as they see you in motion. They might dart your way, take a hard step that makes you jump — it’s their job to give you attention. But again, remember, they cannot touch you.

Let’s take, for example, Luchadores Monstruosos. As you exit “Monstruos 2: The Nightmares of Latin America” — my favorite house of 2024’s roster — you’ll be greeted by an outdoor area that imagines your favorite Universal Monsters as luchador wrestlers. Werewolves, sea creatures, and vampires wear colorful lucha getups and roam freely, in character, immersing you in their fantastical world. For example, Mr. Macho Werewolf sauntered up to my friend, puffing his chest, and then started flexing his bicep — which she did as well. For 15 seconds, the werewolf luchador tried to out-flex my friend as she cackled, never intimidated, loving the interaction. In a Scare Zone like this, the actors have more freedom to mess around, which these monster luchadors indulge in.

Those “Chainsaw Punkz” are a little more aggressive — anarchists with spiked hair and menacing masks revving their (SAFE FOR USE) chainsaws. If you see them lumbering toward you, there’s a solid chance they’ll lunge your way, rev their chainsaw in your vicinity, and then spin off to the next “victim.” You’ll never be touched by the chainsaw prop, nor any weapon in a Scare Zone, but some character personalities will go as close to the “kill” as possible. Pretend it’s a game of “I’m not touching you,” except you’re playing with Purge Night miscreants.

Never turn your back on a scare actor in these zones, either. If you’re standing in place having a conversation, you better believe that a gigantic hooded crow will be waiting to lock eyes when you turn around. (That’s on me for letting a scare actor with stilts sneak from behind.) Although, if you encounter any of the “Murder Crowz,” consider yourself lucky. One of these performers hilariously chased another of my friends around the Crowz Zone for a good minute as she tried to barter by “sacrificing” my life, then used me as a human shield. The crow was having a blast, apparently not interested in my soul since it kept circling me to “feast” on my giggling companion.

One thing to note — if you look scared or act terrified, you’re essentially a walking beacon for scare actors. These are professionals. They can recognize the scaredy-cat in a group who will jump the highest and squeal the loudest. While they cannot touch you, they will choose their interactions wisely. There’s no payoff for actors when they waste their best tricks on me, and I very appreciatively respond with, “Oh, that’s so cool!” If you don’t want personalized attention, play it calm and collected — unless you want to have some fun!

You don’t have to worry about anything different in the haunted houses. Horror Nights isn’t a haunt like Delusion here in Los Angeles, where you can opt into experiences that involve being separated from your group, abducted by actors, and physically touched. Universal Studios keeps everything hands-free for your protection as well as their actors — don’t be the jabroni who punches or kicks a performer. Instinctual reactions are understandable in choice scenarios, kneejerks and all, but your life isn’t actually in danger. Let these poor employees do their jobs without a black eye.

Actors are assigned rooms with specific scare points, usually hidden until you’re within proximity. Maybe you’re walking past a closet door in “Monstruos 2” and El Charro bursts out to shake his bag of golden coins your way, or perhaps you’re walking through The Further in “Insidious: The Further,” and The Lipstick-Face Demon swipes at you from a designated space between crimson theater-thick curtains. That’s all they’ll do — no pursuit or dragging you off the house’s path. You’ll come face to face with your nightmares, but nothing more.

Well, maybe you’ll get squirted with water that’s supposed to mimic blood spatter — but that’s an atmospheric enhancement.

Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights is engineered to keep you coming back and, more importantly, not get sued. There’s no reason to risk physical altercations for added intensity when that could end with a customer taking the company to court for a litany of reasons. Trust me, a reformed, once-certified scaredy-cat who went from being paralytically afraid at the sight of Chucky to strolling through his haunted house last year — you have nothing to worry about at Halloween Horror Nights. You’re in fantastic hands with the park’s scare actors and are protected by their rules of engagement.

That’s it. You got an answer and some explanations because if you’re asking the internet the question in the headline, you’re probably anxious about visiting Halloween Horror Nights. I hope my rundowns added some context and soothed your nerves. Every horror fan must experience Universal’s immersive celebration of Halloween vibes at least once. You should feel spooked at points, and equally excited, but if it ever gets a wee bit too much, just remember — whatever happens, no one can touch you. These are walkthroughs, not final boss battles. What’s the worst that can happen?